Mother's Day Every Day
How about we lay the perfection torch down? We are enough. Our energy is enough. Our knowledge is enough. Our instincts is enough. Our wisdom is enough. Our love is enough.
About a month ago I answered a call from one of my sons. He was feeling overwhelmed in his doctorate program. He was tired, stressed and momentarily doubting himself and his journey. I’ve answered countless calls, many joy filled, and some deeply serious, at all times of day or night, from my sons over the years. I will always answer their calls. I breathe to show up in full force, even if showing up is messy and fear filled and oh so not perfect. They will not remember the mess as the years pass. They will remember that I showed up. They will remember the love. Fingers crossed.
As they age their calls carry greater weight. Life gets real, scary, exciting and complicated. I’m not gonna lie. This particular call I was crushing it. When I hung up I felt filled with peace. And just as quickly as peace had shown its face, ego made it’s presence known & the thought “why couldn’t you have been THIS mom ten years ago?” flew through my brain. Where has this mom been? And then, then, the kindest softest voice whispered “they didn’t need you to be this mom 10 years ago. They need this mom now. This mom showed up just in time” We judge our journey all the time. Are we enough? Were we enough? Did we pay close enough attention? Did we enjoy the ride enough? And the answer is typically this; we enjoyed much of it and much of it we were exhausted and hanging on for dear life.
To my mother in Heaven. I love and miss you in a way that is challenging for this lover of words to articulate. You were strength, beauty, humor, perseverance, love and joy. Every room you entered became a party. May we all live so big that our earthly departure leaves a crater so big those left behind can just gaze at it with longing while trying not to fall in. Thank you for giving me the three greatest siblings, not because they’re perfect, but because it matters greatly to them. We’re holding onto each other tightly so none of us fall in. I think you’d be proud. Because of you I know what courage, loyalty and unconditional love looks like. You were not perfect, but you were perfect for me.
To my sister, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law, nieces and women friends. Your love has carried me through countless storms. You chicks make me so proud to be a woman. Every single one of you has mothered me in the most profound way, and without you I would not be the woman I am today, and let’s be honest, I’m kind of a badass. Thank you will never suffice.
To my boys. Nothing will ever make me prouder, humbler, or give me greater joy, than being your mom. Your brilliance, and incredible humor, touch me always, but what will always take my breath away is your kindness, your generosity of spirit, how you show up for life and others. Your courage is everything. You are my greatest spiritual teachers. Thank you for your patience with me, for accepting my many maternal fumbles. Your loyalty and devotion to those you love blows me away. You came into this world on your own spiritual journeys. I will never be able to express my deep gratitude that I have been given this front row seat to watch it all unfold. For every dark season you have weathered know my heart has broken along with yours, but the tears of awe I have shed as I watch you fight back, dig deep for your bravery and rise above, for every moment you have refused to quit, could fill an ocean. I believe in you fiercely. I love you more than anything. Please never, ever, forget, no matter how old you get… I got your six.