Who Surrounds You?

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”

~ Wayne W. Dyer

Everyone deserves unconditional love in their life. People who show up, regardless of how strong the gale force winds blow. People who equally share our joys & our sorrows. People who remind us that, no matter how dark it appears, we will feel the sun again. People who laugh with us when no one else seems to get the joke. People who tell us that, against all odds, we will be fine, and that furthermore, we already are, we just don't know it yet. People who remind us that everything is as it should be, everything happens for a reason, and one day we will understand, or maybe we won't, but either way it's all going to be okay. Beautifully, it is their presence, their very existence in our life, and not the words they utter themselves that reminds us of these things. This is one of the things I miss most about my mom. I am so fortunate, and tremendously grateful, that in her absence I have all these things & more in my family & a close circle of friends.

I didn't always surround myself with loving people. Let me rephrase that. I always had loving people in my life, I just didn't employ their services that often. I drew people into my orbit that fed drama, if for no other reason than providing me with the opportunity to say to myself "at least I'm not that out of whack." It was a brilliant system, until it wasn't. It was my tremendously wise husband who gently suggested to me one day many years ago that if I truly wished to learn how to be my best, most loving, self, I might want to consider surrounding myself with loving people. Brilliant.

Who we surround ourselves with is an external reflection of our internal desires, whether we are aware of it or not. Who we run with matters... a ton. It's not an issue of surrounding ourselves with others who think like we do, who view the world exactly like we do, vote like we do, etc. Those people are merely mirrors of us, and we already have one of us. There exists of world of difference between fellowship with like minded people and companionship with only those who reside within our echo chambers. In fact, it is critical to our growth that we invite opposing views, that we challenge ourselves through a willingness to exposure of things beyond our comfort zones or present knowledge. Fellowship, or kinship, with people who value what we value, honesty, compassion, integrity, purpose, extraordinary kindness and tolerance has no more to do with how we vote than it does with our religious, racial, spiritual, gender, sexual or cultural orientation. If we are open we should frequently find ourselves in the presence of others who value what we value while envisioning a completely different path to get there.

If our natural state is one of negativity, fear, hostility, resentment, insecurity, and competitiveness we will likely surround ourselves with others who hold tight to those same characteristics, others who view the world through the lens of misery, through fearful neurotic eyes, because to not do so would threaten those very states of mind we are clinging to. When we surround ourselves with others who live in drama, in negativity and chaos we are temporarily assured that we are okay, that we are not alone in our insecurity and insanity. Often we're completely unaware of our attraction to others who are negative. But this a sacred truth, we attract into our lives what we offer to the world.

Energy is contagious. Most people love being around happy people because their happiness and their optimism has the power to shift an entire situation, to alter a perceived reality. We laugh when others laugh. Knowing why others are laughing is irrelevant because the energy created by the laughter itself is contagious. It's where the magic resides, inside the laughter. I was fortunate to be born into a really funny family. I chose to marry a someone who makes me laugh daily (okay, well almost every day). We raised two hysterically funny adult sons. I have really really funny nieces and nephews. Humor matters to our family, a ton. It's our resting place. It's our natural habitat, our place of restoration. It's everything. Humor hangs twinkle lights in the crappiest of situations.

I am known to be a tiny fan of hyperbole. Whatever. I am, however, not being the slightest bit hyperbolic when I make the following statement: seeking out loving, loyal, spiritual, brave warriors and actually allowing them into our world, into our innermost sanctums and fully embracing their spirits is like walking through life with our own private army. It is like shrouding ourselves in white light and strength, because we know that no matter what comes our way, whether it is a perceived threat from beyond, or we've just self-imploded, they will show up in force. When the proverbial shit hits the fan they close ranks. They breathe for us when we've had the wind knocked out of us, they stand for us when we've been kicked to the ground. They hold us up. They love us when we feel our most unlovable. How do we draw those people into our worlds? We be that person. We offer that love and compassion to the world surrounding us. We listen closely to our intuition. We recognize others who live with negativity. We smile at those who walk in the shadows, we wish them love and peace, and then we walk on. We stand in grace, in integrity, in courage and in love. We choose sacred ground to stand upon. Then we stand back and watch what unfolds before us with awe and gratitude...

Peace & Love Always

Xo, Beth

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